Praise Teh Pickle-God. I CURE AIDS WITH PICKLES! watnoobwat? -

Teh pickle lord shall smite all non-believers!

Teh PickleGod's reign

From teh high heavens, the P-P-P-P-Pickle-god rules upon us with the all-knowing power of his pickle tree. Think this is silly? Well you're not allowed to. Teh pickle god will force thunder & lightning up your ass if you possess the forbidden trait of disbelief! You CAN'T have disbelief or you shall be part of Pickle-God's massive genocide of non-believers. Succumb to his every wimb or suffer teh consequences and perish like the super-liberal donkey-scum you are!

The Facts behind Pickle-God

As opposed to contrary bileeffs, the Pickle-God is not man nor an alien, he is instead our one and only god. Myths & misconceptions about Pickle-God and co.:

1. There never was Raptor Jesus. This was made up by the Paolaicians in the Dinosoic Era.

2. Cyborg Raptor Jesus once existed but Pickle-God slayed him to the Earth's core with his sexy lasso.

3. Pickleism is NOT a religion. It is a mandated NATO-issued rule which we all must abide by or Pickle-God shall eat us and/or decapitate us with his veggie-bomb!

4. The term "Where is ur god now?" was coined by the infamous Cyborg-Raptor-Jesus who was victim to Pickle-God's lasso of Sex. Cyborg-Raptor-Jesus is no longer with us. Pickle-God is in total power now.

5. The term "Nihilism" does not exist anymore. It was replaced by the term "PickleGodSuperPowerLord".

6. A small group of people once believed that Chuck Norris > Pickle God. Upon figuring this out by the process of mind-reading, Pickle-God took away the super-human power which he once bestowed Chuck Norris, shot him 57 times in the ribcage with a semi-automatic Gangsta-style tommy gun, killed him, and succumed this small group of non-believers to over 9000 continuous hours of High-School-Musical movie, to which most died after the 1st hour anyway.

My Agenda...

I have the power of adding pickles to ur burger through the power of Pickel-God. Yes, I am an agent of Pickle-God who has the power to magically add pickles to burgers. I cure ppl by putting pickles in their burgers. Wanna argue with me? You can't argue with Pickle-God's will. Don't believe me? You have no right to NOT believe me. You think I am lieing? Just take a damn look at ur burger.....noob. WHAT!

Pictures of Pickle-God...

Happy:

Sad:

(unpropogandist) happy message:

Merchandise:

Pickle-God about to deviously kill an unsuspecting non-believer:

Pickle-God at 1 months old (appears to be learning calculus):

mother (deceased now):

Pickle-God capitalism FTW:

GiggityGiggity Oh Yeah: