How I should have gotten a ticket... -

So, around nine yesterday I was picking up groceries to make cookies for a few friends. It was an in and out deal, I never look at anything else in the store because I know I'll buy it if I see it. I get my groceries and leave. While I'm driving my car, this person behind me is tailgating to the max. And I mean like about a foot away from my car. So I'm like, "Wtf? It's a passing zone you douche." However, he just doesn't want to pass me. So I tap my breaks telling him to back the hell off. He doesn't. So I pull up to the light, and sure enough, he pulls in right next to me. I look into his, what seemed to be, fast car(I didn't really know what it was, but it looked pretty fast) and I see this white boy, as white as the snow(He was even whiter than me) dressed in baggy clothing while listening to rap while pretending that he knows the words, but rap doesn't have words with certain artists, so that guy along with what seemed to be his gf. So, let me give you a brief explanation of the situation:

There are two lanes in our part of the intersection.
The two lanes merge into one a visible distance past the intersection(And it's dark out, so it's pretty close).
Guy beside me wants to pass me.
Guy beside me has a decently fast car.
I am driving a piece of crap.
Guy beside me wants to impress his girlfriend.
Guy beside me is a douche who thinks that tailgating will get me to go thirty above the speed limit.

Well, I say to myself, "You should always be defensive while driving, but sometimes there is a need to switch from assertive driving to aggressive driving." Which is stupid, and I'm a dumbass for having said that. I drop the gear into neut. and slam on the accelerator a few times. I glance over at him and give him a nice stare with a smurk on my face. He immeadiately shoots his head forwards, this is serious business. I glance back at the light, and we wait. I see the yellar lights on the opposite street. And crank it back into drive. He's still looking ahead, because it's serious business. The moment I predict the light is going to change, I slam the accelerator almost to the ground, but there was still a good distance from the pedal to the floor. And guess what the light didn't do????????????????????

It didn't let me down. I shot ahead before he even started accelerating. The light came on right when it wanted to, and I pwn't that silly noob hard. I beat a decently fast car in a piece of crap, which made me feel intense. I glance at my rear view in a state of bliss, and what do I see. Well, it's a car, it's tailgating, and it looks like a white kid in baggy clothing is in the driver's seat. Woah! It's that guy I smoked a few seconds ago! So, he's tailgating like a motard and won't back off. So he keeps doing this thing where he accelerates a ton, and right when it looks like he'll hit me, he backs off. Which made me very friggin' uncomfortable. So the next time he does it, I put my breaks on a few seconds before he was getting close. He slams the breaks. And by slams, I mean *REALLY ANNOYING SCREECHING SOUND*. So, I see him just hit the accelerator and swing into the other lane to pass me, while in a no passing zone. He shoots right beside me, and his girlfriend grabs a milkshake and throws it at my open window. Being the sexy stud that I am, somehow manage to catch it while only a few drops spill on me. He shoots ahead at what seems to be eighty in a fourty zone and I lose sight of him. "Cool! I just made friends with the sweetest retard!" I say to myself, "He shares drinks with me and he even wants to play games with me!" Pretty much said that to cool me down, and it worked. I pull up to a light, and I see a familiar car pull out of a bank that I'd just past. Yeah... It was my cool friend. He pulls right besides me, and pulls down the window while turning down the music. He says to me, "Your ass is mine." I looked right into his eyes and said, "I'm glad you'd take a man's ass over your girlfriend's." He looks at me in probably the most pissed off face I've ever seen, and flicks me off. I look at him and start laughing and give him a clap or two. Anyways, back to serious business, this is what the intersection was like:

There are two lanes in our part of the intersection.
The two lanes merge into one a visible distance past the intersection(And it's dark out, so it's pretty close).
Guy beside me wants to pass me.
Guy beside me has a decently fast car.
I am driving a piece of crap.
Guy beside me wants to impress his girlfriend.
Guy beside me is a douche who thinks that tailgating will get me to go thirty above the speed limit.
Guy beside me is pissed off to the max and probably thinks I'm gonna take his gf away from him.
I can't blame him though, I mean I do rock hard.

I glance at the other streets yellar light, and get ready to accelerate. The light changes and I accelerate a tiny bit before him, but with his fast car it'll probably be even. So, this was just a game of who has more guts. We're both heading towards the merging point at around eighty(Yeah I was caught up in the moment) and it appears we're going to crash unless one of us backs off. I felt lucky today, so I didn't back off a single bit. Right as it's about to merge completely, he slows down immeadiately. I can't believe it, but video games actually benefit my reaction time, thus making me beat some noob in racing, twice.

So, it's reasonable to say that this kid was beyond pissed. So he pulls into the other lane in another no passing zone, and attempts to pass me. I say to myself, "No. I beat you twice, a third time will make you fail in front of your gf, just accept your god damn defeat." Nope, he just starts flooring it. So me being the adrenaline pumped teenager with a stubborn disposition about this situation, am pretty much not gonna let him show me up. I floor it as well. In this situation, all I have to do is hold him off until another car in the opposite lane starts coming up on us. Just as it looks like he'll pass me, a new hope appears. A car in front of me that looks to be really fast. I knew that he'd be as uncomfortable with the situation as I was, so I flashed my blinkers at him to let him know what was going on. The guy in front of me looks back, and right as Mr. Douche starts approaching him, he matches our speed. At this moment, there was absolutely no way that he'd be able to pass us. So he slowed down a ton, and got back behind me. I glance back in my rear view, and... HE WASN'T TAILGATING ME!!!11!1!!!!!1!11

So, that was my story about how retarded I was last night. I should have gotten a ticket and had my liscense revoked for a while. Probably should have community serviced too. It was definately stupid, but that's probably the only time I'll ever have dominated a person that hard... IRL. For serious.