All I can say is... - Disappointment, exchange

I'm very disappointed. I'd rather hoped for a good school term ending, but when I collected the mail today I was pretty crushed.

Near the beginning of the term, I'd gotten interested in a Japanese exchange program the school was running. Six weeks in Japan; sounded awesome. A chance to improve my Japanese and speak like a native, to make new friends and to consolidate my friendship with another friend who had a big chance of getting in. I'd gotten to know her through Year 9 camp, where we lived in a house and did activities together for 8 weeks. We promised each other we'd be Jap exchange buddies, and meet up every weekend to go shopping and see the sights.

However, there were 12 applicants. Only 9 could get in. A couple of these applicants were Year 10's. I'm in Year 11, and using your common sense, you might know that Year 11 is your last chance at getting into an exchange, because come Year 12 and it'll be too late. Us Year 11's were pretty peeved that Year 10's were allowed to apply for this exchange in the first place; they have next year to try, why not let us, who are graduating next year, to go?!

Then today in Jap class, my teacher informed us they'd selected the nine who were going. Those who were going would have recieved a big envelope; those who weren't would recieve a small one. I sorta had this inkling feeling that I hadn't made it; I had been late to my interview, I'd been to Japan before (on a tour in Year 9) and generally I wasn't as well liked as others. But I tried to be happy, even when my teacher said that two Year 10's had gotten in. That cut down my chances of getting in to 7/9. About 78%. Still not so bad.

So I was walking home today, and I could see my mail box from where I was. I took a deep breath, and started running towards it. When I neared, I saw I'd recieved...

A small envelope.

Yeah, you probably all saw that coming, but I can still be a drama queen, right? Anyway, I ripped the letter open on the spot and after reading it, declared it was a piece of bull. Yes, I was angry. And still am. I reserve the right to swear. After the initial anger, though, I calmed down a little and just...became disappointed. I hadn't got in; my oral skills would suffer severely, since I'd been counting on the exchange to help me. My adaptation to the Japanese language would be crap compared to those who came back from the exchange. I felt envy boiling up in me, because I knew that my friend would have gotten in. Then I slapped myself and told myself I should be happy for her.

*sigh* I don't know, I'm just kind of a mixture of disappointed and angry at the same time. Somebody give me advice, please?

In Maple news, I'll be getting online next week. Those who play in Bera and are literate, feel free to whisper Ezyan.