My Relgious Beliefs (Long, so be prepared) -

I don't believe in Christianity, Buddhism, or anything at all. I believe god didn't create humans, but rather humans created god to set some people in reality at higher and more preferable positions than others, heaven due to their fear of death, and hell to strike fear into those who have malicious or selfish intentions. I believe humans are made up of a brain, blood, bones, and organs, which are made up of cells, which are further made up by atoms and such. I don't believe there is an absolute purpose in life such as survival of the human race or preservation of the planet, the first being instinct of the "living" creature's brain, and the second being a thought created by the human race ultimately for their future survival.

Humans have the most advanced mind in terms of survival, but at the same time humans have the most unnecessary imperfections both physically and mentally, so much that humans have to make up their own "Savior" and "God" with unverified proof which could have been made by them, to create false hope that they will be saved without doing anything on their own. What I find funnier is that most people who believe in this so called "god" don't even follow their belief most of the time, as they go to war with others, disrespect others, and judge others.

What I don't understand is why do we thrive to survive if all we are is atoms under those cells and brains? Death seems to be an inevitable end for the individual that experiences it, and as far as we know can be considered an eternal sleep with no voices, images, or anything. No one has came back from death, and it is virtually impossible to revive a human once their brain has decayed/been destroyed. Sure cloning will be possible in the future, but they won't be the same person, instead like creating a new person with false memories.

The existence of everything can be viewed in 2 perspectives. What is a single human life when compared to the universe? And then what is a single human life when compared to the infinite amount of atoms?

In reality humans aren't even an insect's size when compared to everything that humans "probably" won't be able to discover (such as the infinite size of the universe and beyond) before the sun eradicates the Earth and all nearby planets. Will the human race survive this? Science fiction says we will have space colonies, but how is that possible with the faltering rate of minerals that this small planet has to offer? Will humans discover fusion of energy to create the ultimately limitless yet possibly deadly energy that can save their race? Will they leave behind a majority of their race on the dying planet? Or will all of mankind just die during or before the Sun's super nova? We don't know, I don't know, but one thing is certain... if humans continue needlessly fight each other on stupid differences and depend on some "God"s that they created, it is beyond the race to save their race from extinction, let alone multiplying their individual's life spans to last for millennium's.

I am both afraid and not afraid of death. I am afraid to die because I was raised by human ideals, and feel love for my friends, family, and pets, and have grown fond (human ideal word, there is no "fond" or "like" in the bigger picture I look at, yet I follow this) of these memories and existences and don't think I'll be tired of "life" anytime soon, and wish to experience more of what this "life" has to offer. I'm not afraid of death, because I am lucky enough to have lived this long, to have been the child that was born, death is inevitable so being afraid will just "ruin" this "life" (don't get me wrong, being cautious about living is different than being afraid) , and am just mere atoms and cells controlled by a brain by instinct to survive.

Some of you may consider me "Atheist", but I don't consider myself anything other than just myself... even then though, I honestly believe referring to me as "myself" is just referring to this one bizarre composition of atoms that has a mind which strives to live on as long as possible with these even stranger human ideals (such as entertainment, joy, etc). Although I consider it very possible for me to die at any given time, I don't expect it to happen anytime soon. I'm sure most of the people on the verge of dying, if not killed instantly, think at the very least subconsciously "I didn't think this would happen to me".

If I were to label something as a god, it wouldn't be a person who watches/decides/rules over everything, but rather the mystery of why we want to live, why we die, and how large the universe is. Just as I don't believe in the afterlife, I don't believe in ghosts, but I do believe in spirit (not spirits). My version of a spirit is the desperate will to live that exists in all creatures, not some weightless thing that represents the "real" you. I also believe that even when a person dies, they can still partially exist if they are remembered.

A very annoying thing to think about is what kind of death you'd dislike more: To die while being asleep/unconscious not knowing you'd die, to be fatally wounded/sick while knowing you are about to die, or to die in an instant without being able to think about anything at all. Honestly, I can say I dislike all 3 evenly and can't possibly prefer one if I had to choose (hopefully that won't ever come up, but in actuality if I got the option to choose, it would count as the second one since you'd know how you'd meet your end). Another thing to consider is, if you have permanent and large-scale amnesia, wouldn't that be the same as being dead since you aren't the same person anymore? The last thing on this matter I'm gonna go to is if the brain was to be preserved in some kind of life support, would you be able to think?

I'm sorry if this bored anyone, irritated anyone religious, or confused someone (Hello Devon ^^), but I tend to bottle these complex thoughts up inside myself due to the lack of anyone in my family who I can actually tell them to who would respond with something worthwhile (And intelligent). I am not looking forward to pointless posts saying it was too long to read and such, as that would be severely disrespecting me. Although in reality respect, loyalty, and all of that stuff doesn't exist, I was raised among religious humans and am accustomed and entertained by such. You don't have to answer with anything (though I would be interested if you do), I just want to let it all out... it's been driving me crazy with all these religious people about (sure I respect that everyone should follow what they believe in, but when they judge others and act as if they are right and others are wrong, it infuriates me). Some of this may have been depressing, and I apologize dearly for that. With that said, thank you for your time.