Gee, Dad... - - Profil3

did you know you were such an asshole? I did.
But crushing Katie's dream like that? uncalled for. She wore pj pants, big f-in deal. Welcome to this era, please adapt.
I mean, I knew I hated you, but now I can see that she has reason to hate you as well. Gosh, was it your dream to have all of your children hate you? Well good for you, if it was, you are 2/3's complete.
I don't really care when you make me cry. I've dealt with it for God knows how many years, but her? Seriously, Dad, she's not even in High School yet. Trying to get a jump start on crushing her hopes and dreams are you? Cuz it sure's working. And you know what, I can't even say anything positive to her, becuase I can't tell you how long I've wanted to run away or to kill myself because of you. You make my life a living Hell, I hope you're happy.
Hey, Dad, do you know how wierd it is when people ask you "what do you want to do" or "what did you dream of last night" and the only thing I have to say is "nothing." I want to cease existance, that is what I want. I want to simply stop, or at least I did. Then I found someone worth living for, but I can't escape to him yet. What did I dream of? I don't know. I don't dream. You killed them all, Dad. Everytime you told me it was stupid, everytime you told me that I should do homework, instead of saying, good job, or i'm proud of you. Would it kill you to say something postive and mean it? There are some times that "I'm glad you finished that. Now what other projects can you do?" doesn't cut it. For Heaven's sake, I'm only human. The worst was when you said that if I was an employee, you would have fired me. Because nothing says, "I love you" like that. And you wonder why I hide in my room all day and try to avoid you. I can't wait to get away. I look forward to college because it means being away from you. When I told you I wanted to be a far away, but not too far, it was you I was trying to get away from and Rory I was trying to stay close too. But you don't know that. All you know is that I say "I love you" to you without conviction. What you don't know is a lot. You don't know that I love Rory with all my heart and soul. You don't know that I only hate one person in this world. You don't know that that person is you. You don't know that when I wish I could fly away, what I really wish is that I would die. You don't know that everyday, I question why I made the promise to Rory that I wouldn't kill myself. You don't know that because of you, I don't make many promises. You don't know that I'm tempted to break my promises just because it is too hard. You just don't know, and I'm not going to tell you. If I told you, it would all be my fault. Forgive me, I am not Atlas, I cannot hold the weight of the world on my shoulders, I wasn't raised that way. What I've learned is that when faced with a challenge, it is easier to back down and not try. What I've learned is that sometimes lying is a lot easier than telling the truth. What I've learned is that death looks pretty nice compared to the live I'm living. What I've learned is that trust isn't worth it. What I've learned is that I hate you.

Anyway... I just put all this here because I needed to get it out, and the person I usually talk to didn't call me, and I can't call him. So, pretty much, just disregard what is written above. I may delete it later because I'm rather paranoid about what my dad reads. If he found this, I would probably be grounded for the rest of my life, or I would be in serious trouble.

~Icky