What happens when I become sad. -

I want to rid myself of the sentimental burden, of the estatic feelings, the mourning, the
missing, everything that has driven me to my personal lonelyness. Memories are so
cruel to life.

I scrawl all my feelings and memories on a ragged piece of paper and burn it. Burn
it into ashes so the text becomes incoherent. Burnt ashes. Gray ashes. Crippled. Lost.
But whilst doing so, I achieve recoil. That's what happens when you become foolish. Recoil.
Faded white recoil on my hand, that indicates the memories that will never vanish. No matter
how much I burn the gray, crippled, lost ashes.

Alas, I still hold my burden.

Out of frustration I become confused and depressed.Every scrap of happy I had years ago.
When I wasn't lonely. Sad. Deserted.
To know I WAS happy is the cause that makes me slip my hand and fall deeper into the abyss.
The never ending hole of hell. Maybe my memories won't catch up. I'll just keep falling
until I forget. But instead of forgetting, I hit the ground. Another scar. Another failure.

I still hold my burden.

I ache and pain, and out of sadness I cry out everything that won't come back to me anymore
because happiness is limited, so you must treasure it. I cry a puddle filled with my emotions
So that they leave me and stay in a delicate, pristine colection of water molecules. As
beautiful as my memories. And just as sadistic as my memories.

Finally, the water disappears. However, I still see my burden. For the next day, it rained
my beautiful pond. So deliberately did it rain back on my head, and seep into me. Always
coming back like a faithful lapdog. Knowing that I can never let go. Because deep deep
down I treasure my memories. For with pain, comes love. With sad, comes happy. With dark,
comes light. And like my emotions, my lapdog will bite me when I'm sad. It will lick me
when I'm happy. And it will always run back, because it knows I want to keep those
precious memories. So so precious.

Yeah, I was pretty depressed when I wrote it. I added the last couple of sentences to keep my sanity a couple of days later.