Away... for a tad. -

I'm going to push my mushcomic off until next week. This week is chaos. Two tests tomorrow and two stupid essays due on the same day. I'll probably have to redo my "guide" so I'll be able to resubmit it. Or maybe I won't do anything to it at all. Because I think I killed my idea.

I just went to a field trip today at a mental hospital, and I thought wouldn't be surprised if I had schizophrenia or some kind of depression. I'm lacking concentration, my marks are dropping, most of the time my emotions are fake, I blabber overexcessively on nonsense, I somehow love attention to bits, and the scary thing is, I can sometimes hear nonexsistent voices at night. Not recently, though, but it's still creepy. It's like someone calling my name or someone whispering a phrase through my ear. I can't remember what the voices told me, though. I always have a cloud of fog in my brain. Plus, I'm starting to lose my memory. I couldn't remember things that I have done 3 seconds ago.

And that's not it, if you really know what I'm thinking, you'd be thinking that I'm a crazy maniac. Every single day I imagined myself flying on a broomstick to school. I have at least half a dozen imaginary friends following me (I'm in high school). I imagine that I screw things up constantly and for an instant I felt like I AM going to be in trouble. I keep thinking that I should pull the fire alarm for no apparent reason. I always imagine myself opening the car door while driving full speed on a highway. I've thought of hitting or stabbing people or saying mean things while they're talking at me, even when I don't have a knife with me and the person's having a normal, simple, conversation.

Just to be on the point, I'm constantly losing touch with reality but I can somehow put my mind straight.

I'm not sure if they have something called over imagining disorder, but if there is I'd probably have it.

But most of the time I just think I'm doing all of this for attention and excitment... I think I'm not that unfortunate to have a mental disorder... or am I?